- Interviewer: What are three words that describe you?
- Me: Boss Ass Bitch
my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”
and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered
"Maybe i need to use the sleep"
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
i want it
Dave Grohl (via meggannn)
My typical school day
As a teacher, I wish one of my students would say this. I would die laughing and then remember I’m supposed to be the adult in the room.
WHY IS THIS TINY CHILD FUNNIER THAN ME