Job interview
  • Interviewer: What are three words that describe you?
  • Me: Boss Ass Bitch

Permalink

(Source: pinknam)


Permalink

slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"


Permalink

(Source: latenightseth)


Permalink

pardonmewhileipanic:

agirlnamedagnes:

This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.

We don’t have kids.

We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.

i want it


Permalink

pastel-cutie:

People are already getting excited about Halloween and by people I mean me


Permalink
That’s one of the great things about music. You can sing a song to 85,000 people and they’ll sing it back for 85,000 different reasons.
Dave Grohl  (via meggannn)

(Source: psych-facts)


Permalink

ben-c:

ifbuteverythought:

vinebox:

My typical school day

As a teacher, I wish one of my students would say this. I would die laughing and then remember I’m supposed to be the adult in the room. 

WHY IS THIS TINY CHILD FUNNIER THAN ME


Permalink

badparent:

me as a parent

(Source: automatically)


Permalink

prettyboyshyflizzy:

When you see a white kid talking back to their mom in public

image

When you see a black kid talking back to their mom in public

image


Permalink